Joke

me- How long can I keep a chicken in the freezer for?

other person- About 3 months

me-Well I put one in last night and it was dead this morning.

lol

Here's one to consider....Two pretzels are walking down a street....one was assualted!

A fella stopped me yesterday and asked if there was a B&Q (name of a diy shop over here) in Cardiff,I said no but theres two f`s in it.

dale B some advice Keep your day job,ther are already enough starving comedians

me and a buddy were driving along when we came into mexia. (a town not far from me, some of you may remember this is where anna nicole smith is from)
he said "look, we're in mexia" (mex-ee-uh)
i said "no, it's pronounced mexia" (mu-hay-uh)
he said "no, it's mexia" (mex-ee-uh)
i said "NO, it's mexia" (mu-hay-uh)
he said well pull over here and let me ask someone who lives here. so i pulled over and he went in and told the girl behind the counter "now very slowly, pronounce the name of this place"
she said "D-A-I-R-Y Q-U-E-E-N"

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
> you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
> TONY. He replies,
> "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher
> replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
>
>
>
> Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> sides of the triple
> scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the
> cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is
> married?"
>
>
>
> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
> that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
>
>
>
> To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
> wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
>

lol thats really good. Very funny.

I like the way your thinking

good one

Why did the monster buy a hammer?

TO BURST HIS PIMPLES

Whats yellow and smells of bananas?
MONKEY PUKE,

How do you make atissue dance?

Put a little boogie into it.

Why did tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for poo.

Two guys are golfing on a course that is right next to a cemetery. After they tee off, one of the golfers notices that there is a funeral procession passing by. So he takes off his hat, and places it over his heart. When the funeral is over, the other golfer looks at the guy and asks, ''Why did you do that?''
The man replies, ''Well we were maried for almost 40 years. It's the least I could do.''

Ya mama so stupid she tripped over the cordless phone!