SQUEEGEE'S JOKE OF THE DAY

August 7, 2003

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

oldtinter · August 7, 2003

August 7, 2003

August 7, 2003

anyone else like good ol fashion blonde jokes?

like whats a blonde and a screen door have in common?

the more you band em the loooser they get :thumb

I got more.

August 7, 2003

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?

A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?

A: Butter is difficult to spread.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

Q: Why do blondes have legs?

A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.

A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.

A3: So they don't leave trails, like snails.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?

A1: Introduces themself.

A2: Walks home

:bs :lol :bs :lol :thumb I got more!!

August 8, 2003

who needs a bag :bs

August 8, 2003

What a sick sense of humor you guys have. Keep it up.

Squeej

:shock

August 8, 2003

Thank you very much :shock

August 8, 2003

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jaguar XK-8

in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door of the Jag. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911.

In less than five minutes, a policeman pulled up.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Jag, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I can't believe how materialistic you high rolling lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Didn't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"OH MY GOD," :shock screamed the lawyer, "My Rolex!!!!"