SQUEEGEE'S JOKE OF THE DAY

[Guest Braud Spectrum]

[Guest Rama]

I read it, thought, oh easy, mind over matter. Yeah right! My foot was going counterclockwise before I even noticed!

[Guest SQUEEGEE]

Old People Football

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football." A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides."

[Guest SQUEEGEE]

And Another...

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a

seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."

SEE BELOW...

[oldtinter]

[Guest Zrok]

that's frikin' hilarious

[Guest SQUEEGEE]

THE OLD MAN & THE YOUNG PUNK

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.

A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair

in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow.

The old man just stared. Over time, the young man noticed the old man was staring at him.

The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter, old man, never

done anything wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and

had s*x with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."

[Guest blackglass]

[Image Tint]

[Image Tint]

All right....top post..