my retirement plan

January 28, 2006

buddy got this via email..... not a bad plan

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room.

I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises." She replied, "Yes, that' s true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home."

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day (of fantastic food, not institutional food) if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days!

7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

10. There is always a doctor on board.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

PS: And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.

January 28, 2006

tintnfool · January 28, 2006

That actually isn't a bad idea.

I'd take a short drop followed by a sudden stop before I'd ever wish to be in a nursing home. :lol6

January 28, 2006

Making my resevations now. Hope I don't get sea sick.

January 28, 2006

you will be in a mental institution rookie. :lol6

tigerstripe · January 28, 2006

:hide

and just think about all the girls you can scare when you show up at the pool in your old man speedos and straw hat.

January 28, 2006

you will be in a mental institution rookie.

[*]365805

if it ever gets to that point. im dropping a sheet of acid before they jacket me up and take me away. gonna make it worth my while.

oldtinter · January 28, 2006

Making my resevations now. Hope I don't get sea sick.

[*]365797

:hide :nope

TintDude · January 29, 2006

Wow, that's kind of sad when you think about it. She must be knid of lonely, but I guess it does beat a nursing home. :lol6

January 29, 2006

Wow, that's kind of sad when you think about it. She must be knid of lonely, but I guess it does beat a nursing home.

[*]365975

yeah...it says a lot for our crappy health care sytem we have in the states for our elderly..when you can cruise on a ship and get better care there then in our nursing home system :lol

but this will only work up until you are sheiting your own diapers...dont think they will have someone on board there the change them and wipe your butt..when you cant do it.. :DD