I can see the emails between some of you!

June 8, 2006

Vacation Surprise

LLucy Goat stood in front of her building, watching the approaching traffic, anxious to catch sight of Zolar. The possum holler traffic was light for a Monday, probably due to the upcoming holiday weekend, and that odd way no one works either a few days before it or a few days after it. Then LLucy Goat spotted his truck half a block down, and smiled as she watched it pull to the curb.

Zolar opened the passenger door, and LLucy Goat climbed in. They exchanged a nice, warm, kiss. "Hi, sweetheart," LLucy Goat said. "Hello gorgeous," Zolar replied back, smiling warmly at her, his brown eyes twinkling at her as they always seem to do. "So why were you so insistent on picking me up?" LLucy Goat asked. "Oh, I've got a little surprise planned," Zolar said with a hint of mystery in his voice. "Oh really?" LLucy Goat answered. "Are we going someplace special?" "Yep," Zolar said. "Now let's see how long it takes you to figure it out." Zolar switched on some rap music on the truck's stereo.

They drove on for a few moments, LLucy Goat trying to guess Zolar's plan. But everything she suggested - a concert, a ballgame, a movie - was met by a shake of Zolar's brown hair colored head. And then LLucy Goat noticed the road sign for the airport turnoff. "Oh my God," she said. "We're going to the airport?" "Yep," Zolar replied. "Oh wow," LLucy Goat continued excitedly. "You're taking me to dinner at the airport's hot sausage stand!" They both laughed. After a moment, LLucy Goat said, "Really? We're going somewhere?" "Yep," said Zolar. "Where?" LLucy Goat asked. "Gotta guess," Zolar replied. LLucy Goat just let out a long sigh...

After they got parked, Zolar and LLucy Goat walked toward the terminal, Zolar carrying both their bags. "I cannot believe you packed my bag without me even knowing it," she said. "Are you sure you got everything?" "Everything important," Zolar said. "Particularly your socks." "Oh, it's going to be THAT kind of vacation," LLucy Goat said suggestively. "Did you remember to pack your overalls?" "I sure did," Zolar said. "Of course, that's not the only thing I'll be packing..."

As they walked through the terminal, LLucy Goat continued to guess at their ultimate destination, but never really got close. So it wasn't until they got to the ticket counter that she finally realized Zolar was taking her to Jamaica. And was stunned. Though not too stunned to throw her arms around Zolar and give him a big, wet, romantic kiss right there in front of the ticket agent. "I'd say 'have a great trip'," the agent said, "but I think you're already on your way."

Quite a while later, well into the late night flight, both LLucy Goat and Zolar were dozing off under some blankets. Probably due in part to the couple of vodkas LLucy Goat had consumed, and the several jack danielss Zolar had downed. But they'd had to have the drinks to wash down the airline food they'd just eaten - this carrier wasn't known for serving its fliers hog jowls or hay. But as LLucy Goat dozed peacefully on Zolar's shoulder, she suddenly bolted upright. "Oh my God," she said, "what about the horse?" "Don't worry," a groggy Zolar replied, "one of the neighbor kids is going to feed him." "Sorry," LLucy Goat apologized, yawning and stretching.

LLucy Goat snuggled back against Zolar, resting her black hair covered head on his chest, and putting her arm across his stomach. Zolar had almost fall...

June 8, 2006

Bwahahahahahaha~~~~ :dunno Thas shiz is hillarious!!!! :lol

June 8, 2006

only one star for this thread?? :dunno

TINT · June 8, 2006

:lol :dunno :lol :lol :lol

Crazy Cab Ride

I?ve been driving this cab for almost twenty years, mostly around these parts of San Francisco. Thought I?d seen it all. Did you know I once had a guy bring his weasel in here? Can you believe that? Damn weasel jumps into the back seat and then decides to jump out the window at 45 miles an hour. The guy didn?t even blink. He just tells me, ?I never liked that weasel anyway!? You believe that? I tell ya, I get all kinds in here. But the most incredible time was when this couple flagged me down the other day.

I?ll never forget those two. She was something else. Incredible chest, with gorgeous blonde hair. For a guy, he was okay, too. Had brown eyes and black hair. They looked good together. So they flag me down and I pull over. They jump in the back, laughing and having the time of their lives. I look at him in the rear view mirror and ask him where he?s from. You know, just to make conversation. He says, ?San Francisco,? which is funny, because I have an aunt that lives in San Francisco.

Then I ask, where to? And he says, ?Just drive.?

I been in this business long enough to know that if you want a good tip, you just keep your eyes looking straight ahead and don?t ask questions. So that?s what I do. I switch on the radio. I figure a little rap might just to break the quiet, ya know?

So he pipes up from the back. He?s looking at my hack license, sees my name and says ?Artie, you know a place where we can get a decent coca cola and maybe a Man Ass?? And I tell him, yeah, sure. I?ve been in San Francisco for a long time, so I know all the good places. So then he says, ?Artie, my name is Blade and this is guest. Artie, did you know that guest has the most beautiful chest I?ve ever licked??

Well, by now, he?s laughing. guest is laughing. But I gotta tell ya, I?m beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. So there we are, cruising along at 45 miles an hour. I?m looking straight ahead, but in the rear view mirror, I see Blade diving down, completely out of view. Next thing I know, guest?s Dirty Socks comes flying over into the front seat. I kid you not. And they?re giggling and laughing the whole time.

So we?re driving ? and mind you, it was pretty cold that day, so the windows are starting to steam up ? and the next thing that comes over the front seat is Blade?s dirty underwear. Well, now I know some funny stuff is going on, so I?m about to look in the rear view mirror again, but as I turn, guest?s red high heel shoe hits me in the head. I mean, he?s spread eagle in the back seat and guest is going at him, sucking on his driver's license like she?s about to swallow the whole thing. I mean, this woman is tonguing this guy's wallet and he?s on cloud nine, hands on her head and moaning her name.

Somewhere around 47th street, they must have switched positions, because now guest?s lying on the back seat, with one leg behind my head and the other resting on top of the seat, clear on the other side of the cab. And she?s got nothing on below her waist. Totally n@ked except for her shoes and her earrings.

Meanwhile, Blade is going at her like a house on fire. He?s on his knees, and running his tongue all over guest?s purse, swallowing her cash and stuffing each credit card into his mouth and sucking like a starved baby. She?s on her back, practically yelling into my ear, ?Lick my luggage more, Blade! Lick my hot, juicy luggage!? which, of course, he waste...