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this is what I refer all my friends here in DE to when they ask why im so F'd up.

I am from CALIFORNIA which means:

-Everyone hates cops.

-I live next door to mexicans.

- I know what Tri-Tip is.

-Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours.

- I say "like" and "badass" and "siiick" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and "holla" and "hella" and "faded" and "stoked" and "fo sho" and I say them often.

- I know what real cheese & avocados taste like.

-All the p**n you watch is made here, cause we f**k better and thats how it is.

- I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear.

- I can wear sandals all year long.

- I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore".

- I know 65 mph really means 100.

- When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and high speed chase cause we dont f**k around on the road.

- The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14

-You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code.

- I might get looked at funny by locals when I'm on vacation in their state, but when they find out I'm from California I turn into a Greek GOD.

- We don't stop at stop signs... we do a "california roll"

No cop no stop baby!

- I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day.

- All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here.

-We're the Golden State. Not the Cheese State. Not the Garden State.....GOLDEN!!!

- We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with them).

- I have the most representation in the House of Representatives.

- The best athletes come from Cali.

-Every good band comes from Cali.

-We call it soda, not pop.

-We have 3 NFL teams..Raiders, 49er's, Chargers.

- We also have 5 MLB teams: Giants, A's, Padre's, Dodger's, and Angel's No other state can claim that!

-Other countries hate the united states, but they love us.

FRIENDS:Will stand by you while you p1ss.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will shine a spotlight on you while your drunk ass is taking a p1ss in the bushes.


FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fatty you tried to pick up


FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Know some wild %&$# will happen, and set up rally points.


FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...that %&$# was fun "


FRIENDS: Cry with you.



FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Steal each other's stuff so often nobody remembers who bought the %&$# in the first place.


FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will Crawl n@ked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.


FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.


FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.


FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"


FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.

CAJLIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will buck up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.


FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.


FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "You better drink the rest of that %&$#, that's alcohol abuse.. party foul"


FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.


FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will say "okay, just one more..." and then

2 minutes later take one more..and then 2 minutes later take one more..until they throw up everywhere.


FRIENDS: Will talk %&$# to the person who talks %&$# about you.

CALIFORNIA FRIENDS: Will knock them the f**k out!!


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