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Driving in Oregon


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1. Never use turn signals -- this will give away your next move. A real Oregonian

driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car

in front of you, this space will be filled by a bus,

putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of

getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it

will only result in you being rear-ended.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks

in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For

those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

6. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to check if the people

entering the highway are awake.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline.

They are especially not applicable in Oregon during rush hour. That's why

it's called 'rush hour.'

8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over

doesn't mean that an Oregonian driver honking behind you doesn't think he can

go faster in your spot.

9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone

changing a tire. Never stop to help -- you will be mugged.

10. Learn to swerve abruptly. Oregon is the home of the high-speed

slalom driving thanks to ODOT, which removes manhole

covers and puts other holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and

keeps them on their toes.

11. It is traditional in Oregon

to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.

this prevents pigeons from building nests on top of the traffic light and birds from making

deposits on your car.

12. Remember that the goal of every Oregonian driver is to get there

first, by whatever means necessary.

13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection after

The light has turned red. It's people not adhering to this basic principle

That causes the big traffic jams during rush hour.

:boogie

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If you had a "Driving in Kentucky" list, #1 would be - Always have your toddler (standing on the center hump of your pickup truck) hold your beer so you can safely keep one hand on the steering wheel. This allows you to have a free hand for dip spitting, nose picking, finger waving, or spotlight holding.

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Guest c5golfguy
If you had a "Driving in Kentucky" list, #1 would be - Always have your toddler (standing on the center hump of your pickup truck) hold your beer so you can safely keep one hand on the steering wheel. This allows you to have a free hand for dip spitting, nose picking, finger waving, or spotlight holding.

Should be Driving in Kentucky/Georgia/Tennessee/Alabama/North Carolina/South Carolina.... or we could shorten out to Driving south of the mason dixon line! :rest:zzz

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