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FOR TTS: a little humor for you


Guest Roscoe P. Coaltrain

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Guest Roscoe P. Coaltrain

Since you have worked your freakin tale off this week and still have a busy few days ahead....if you get to check here tonight I wanted to make sure you smiled!! Thanks for working so hard this week and taking such good care of us!! You are wonderful husband and daddy!! ~K

oh yeah..hope the rest of ya'll get a good laugh too!! :shock

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."

- Calvin

You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!

- Calvin

You know, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.

- Calvin

I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life out there in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

- Calvin

Reality continues to ruin my life.

- Calvin

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles.

- Calvin

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little pratice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!

- Calvin

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!

- Calvin

From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.

- Calvin

Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character

- Calvin

Aww mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bungie cord!

- Calvin

It's hard to conceal a water balloon

- Calvin

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

- Calvin

Reality continues to ruin my life.

- Calvin

Susie if you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in this envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police you CANNOT trace us, you CANNOT find us. Sincerely, Calvin

- Calvin

I wanted to be a neo-deconstructivist but Mom wouldn't let me

- Calvin

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

- Calvin

I have a hammer! I can put things together. I can tear things apart. I can alter my enviroment while making an incredible din the whole time. God, its great to be a male.

- Calvin

What's the point of wearing your lucky rocketship underpants if no one asks to see 'em?

- Calvin

I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.

- Calvin

I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!

- Calvin

I have all theses great genes, But they're recessive. That's the problem here.

- Calvin's Dad

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer conglomerates. Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? It's a beautiful world all right.

- Calvin's Father

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity.

- Calvin, To Hobbes

A gas mask, a smoke grenade, and a helicopter, thats all I ask.

- Calvin, during a test

I am not currently able to divulge this information, as it may compromise our agents in the field.

- Calvin, on a test paper

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can play together all night!

- Hobbes, To Calvin

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