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Guest tint rookie

Q: What's the perfect Christmas gift for the person who has everything?

A: A broad spectrum antibiotic.

Q: Why do women love Santa Claus?

A: He comes only once a year, but when he does, he fills their stockings!

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper that sold his soul to Santa?

We were so poor when I was young that we couldn't afford ornaments for our Christmas tree. We had to sit around and wait for Grandpa to sneeze.

Q: What do you call Santa's Helpers?

A: Subordinate clauses.

All I want for Christmas is a box of Smurfs and a mallet.

Q: What does Santa call reindeer that don't work?

A: Dinner.

Q: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?

A: They go into town and blow a few bucks.

Q: Did you ever hear of Adolph the brown-nosed reindeer?

A: He could run as fast as Rudolf, he just couldn't stop as fast.

Q: Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?

A: Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

Q: Why doesn't Santa have any children?

A: Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

Q: How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike?

A: They both have ornamental balls.

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

A: Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

Q: What do you call 12 days of blowjobs during the holiday season?

A: Hanukah Lewinski

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