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Tinitman

Tinitman

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Santa's Reindeer--Male or Female??

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter (usually late November to mid December). Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them--from Rudolph to Blitzen--had to be a girl.

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WHICH OF SANTA'S REINDEER NEEDS TO MIND HIS MANNERS THE MOST? "Rude"olph

WHAT DID THE GINGERBREAD MAN PUT ON HIS BED? A cookie sheet

WHAT REINDEER HAS THE CLEANEST ANTLERS? Comet

WHERE DO SANTA'S REINDEER LIKE TO STOP FOR LUNCH? Deery Queen

IF ATHLETES GET ATHLETE'S FOOT, WHAT DO ASTRONAUTS GET? Missile Toe

HOW DOES SANTA CLAUS TAKE PICTURES? With his North Pole-aroid.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

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I don't think I'll attend this years Christmas dinner.

My wife gave me a haircut this morning.

And now she said she's going to make Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.

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tintnfool

tintnfool

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I've read this the past couple years. It always pops up on another board (mx related) that I visit frequently.

Dear Santa,

You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month! While, filled with illusion I wrote you a letter and I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of rollerblades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year! Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, Santa, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity! WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A @#$% YO-YO, A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE $%#@ WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A @#$%? YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE @#$% YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME @#$% LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T #$%#$ ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY @#$% TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE! PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! I'LL $%#@ YOU UP! I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE $%#@ AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK TO THE NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT @#$% BIKE, YOU PUNK @#$%!! YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, $%#@ YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY @#$% BE...YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON A MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO LONG! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT @#$%!

Sincerely, Johnny

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