Leo gettin some serious publicity

[LEO'n'DARTZ]

SAVE the WALES!!!!

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[LEO'n'DARTZ]

Pam Anderson Forces Russian SUV-maker To Circumcise Whale pen!s Leather Interior

It's Pamela Anderson's fault Russian custom car shop Prombron's backing away from including a whale pen!s leather interior on its ultimate offering, the $1.5 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition. Help us Stephen Colbert, you're our only hope!

The very Aristotle Onassis-esque interior was planned as the cherry atop the the $1.5 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition, which was ridiculous opulence personified. Amenities which weren't covered in whale pen!s leather included

Ruby Red matte paint

Gold-plated bulletproof windows

22" Kremlin Red Star bulletproof wheels

Tungsten exhaust

Tungsten and white gold gauges with diamonds and rubies

White gold diamond and ruby encrusted badges - grill, side and dashboard

Special edition Vertu mobile phone with "alert" button

Additional outside kevlar coating

Rogue Acoustic Audio System.

Needless to say it was pretty over the top, however because of pressure put on by animal advocacy groups like PETA and apparently a personal email from PETAphile Pamela Anderson, the Dartz boys are stepping back from their whale-pen!s-leather-loving ways. Instead they'll be putting in "most advanced nanotechnologies to achieve interior highest quality" and saying hello to their "Sea Brothers," we're not kidding. Read the crazy-ass press release.

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[TintDude]

You made Pamela Anderson mad, AWESOME!

[LEO'n'DARTZ]

Paaaaaaaaaaaaam She know for what to fight

US NEWS made me dancing again today:

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Russian SUV Loses Whale pen!s Interior, Thanks to Greenpeace, Pam Anderson

Posted: Nov. 11, 2009 10:11 a.m.

The press release is titled, “Armored Car Without pen!s. Let’s Save the Whales.”

We promise we did not make this story up. That’s about all we can promise you.

A Russian SUV builder has abandoned its plans to line the interior of its new luxury SUV with whale pen!s leather. Thanks to Pamela Anderson. And Greenpeace.

The Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition, Jalopnik reports, was designed to be “The world's most expensive ultra-luxury SUV.” Planned for a 2010 debut, the $1.5 million vehicle was to feature “White gold diamond and ruby encrusted badges,” Kevlar body panels and “Gold-plated bulletproof windows.”

No, we don’t know how you’re supposed to see out of a gold-plated window; perhaps the Kevlar body panels are there because you’ll hit stuff. It does come with three bottles of Vodka, after all.

Most importantly, the car was to feature a “Whale pen!s Leather interior.”

Enticing, isn’t it? Even Stephen Colbert wanted one.

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But it was not to be.

Autoblog reports, “because of pressure put on by animal advocacy groups like PETA and apparently a personal email from PETAphile Pamela Anderson, the Dartz boys are stepping back from their whale-pen!s-leather-loving ways.” Instead of leviathan foreskin, they'll be putting in "most advanced nanotechnologies to achieve interior highest quality.”

In a press release, the automaker explains, “We have no any ideas to kill the whale or something like that.” Instead, they insist, “We just looking for most expensive products for this car - and that’s why we choosed whale pen!s leathure when we checked it is most of most.”

When they checked? With who, exactly? What who this answer at the ready?

They conclude, “Our Sea Brothers! We all know that earth are stand on three whales - we will keep You live! We don’t Earth fall down to Ocean!”

We’re not in the habit of printing press releases in their entirety. But this one we will, because it is without a doubt the best press release of all time. It follows:

ARMORED CAR WITHOUT pen!s. LET’S SAVE THE WHALES.

One month ago DARTZ presented uberluxury armored car with whale pen!s interior - PROMBRON’ (ex.RussoBaltique), lot of people name this car as DARTZ.KOMBAT. As the world’s resonance was very huge and DARTZ got lot of angry e-mails from Greenpeace, WWF and also Pamela Anderson, DARTZ make strong decision to stop their plans regarding such interior.

“We have no any ideas to kill the whale or something like that. All we want - to make just luxury car. Real luxury car which will be world number one car. Our brand was started at 1869 when in Riga was opened Coach Factory or Russo Baltiysky Vagonnij Zavod - PBVZ, and first products was luxury train coaches. At 1907 was made a decision to open Car Department, and at 1909 first car left factory - the name of this car was RussoBalt. This was luxury and sport cars. At 1911 specially for Monaco Rally car got french style name - RussoBaltique. At 1912 factory made world first 4 x 4 wheel drive car, and at 1914 - armored car. All we want to unite luxury and armoring traditions of RussoBalt factory in one car, which brand celebrated 100 years now. At 1922 RussoBalt was renamed to PROMBRON’ (ex.RussoBalt).

We just looking for most expensive products for this car - and that’s why we choosed whale pen!s leathure when we checked it is most of most. After wave of protest we realised our mistake and make a decision not to use natural leathure at all. We will focus on world most advanced nanotechnologies to achieve interior highest quality using artificial materials which also was never used for cars. We want to tell our hello to all whales: “Our Sea Brothers! We all know that earth are stand on three whales - we will keep You live! We don’t Earth fall down to Ocean!”

Also we make a decision to pay more attention to glass and on our new car model we will use glass which will be made by special technology - from artificial grown chrystals, which will be gold sputerred to cut IR and UV rays, which make driving inconvinient when sun shine.

Best regards,

Leonard F. Yankelovich

...

[LEO'n'DARTZ]

Pam Anderson straightens out some misguided Russians - from OnCar.COM

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