SQUEEGEE'S JOKE OF THE DAY

August 25, 2003

Your Momma is SO fat, she fell in love and broke it!

August 26, 2003

Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was a cash refund.

August 26, 2003

two old women were sitting on a porch eating watermelon. one notices that the other is sitting with her legs apart, and baring her coochie for the whole world.

so the other one says "mable, dat sho is unsanitary"

mable says "yeah, buts it sho do keep da flies away".

August 27, 2003

Dat be an old Southern classic from the Jim Crow days TTS.

Haven't heard that one in ages.

September 3, 2003

Bill Clinton has a heart attack and goes to hell where the devil is

waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do with you here," says the devil. "You're on my

list but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll

tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite

as

bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you will have to take their place.

I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Slick Willie thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil

opened the first room: in it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water.

Ted kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over again. Such

was

his fate in hell. "No!" Bill said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and

I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room: in it was Tom Daschle with a

sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he d id was swing that hammer,

time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I

would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!"

The devil opened a third door. In it, Bill Clinton saw Rev. Jesse Jackson lying

on the floor with his arms folded behind his head, and his legs staked in a

spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she

does best. Bill looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I

can handle this!"

The devil smiled and said......"OK, Monica, you're free to go

oldtinter · September 3, 2003

TintDude · September 3, 2003

September 3, 2003

TTS,

Good one!

That reminds me of the one about a greedy little bastard that dies and goes to heaven or so he thinks.

The man with an obvious penchant for s*x and money is lead to a room with a beautiful seductress and is asked, "Would you like to stay here and make love to this beautiful woman or take the ladder to success above this chamber?"

Obviously thinking to himself, This is heaven and whatever is above must certainly be at least as good as if not better than what he may be willing to pass up so the greedy man chooses the ladder.

Upon climbing the ladder and entering the chamber the man's eyes are greeted with delight as he beholds yet another beautiful woman, perhaps even more beautiful than the first laying on heaps and mounds of cash. Before he jumps in his guide instructs him to wait and points yet again to another ladder in the corner of the room and offers him the opportunity to stay or to continue climbing the ladder to success.

Perhaps thinking he is on a roll and things can only get better the greedy man again, without hesitation this time, chooses the ladder to success.

Upon entering the new chamber he is greeted by a large, burly and unsavory character who greets him with, "Hello, my name is Cess I've been eagerly awaiting your arrival.

Remember Success?

Think Suck-Cess.

:hmmm