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SQUEEGEE'S JOKE OF THE DAY

Guest SQUEEGEE

By Guest SQUEEGEE
in Window Tinting - General Discussion

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Guest thetintshop

Guest thetintshop

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GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit

Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.

After 70, they become Afghanistan. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN Between 15 and 98 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a dick.

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Guest SQUEEGEE

Guest SQUEEGEE

Posted
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GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash. 

Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit

Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia,  with a glorious and all conquering past  but alas, no future.

After 70, they become Afghanistan. Most everyone  knows where it is, but no one wants to go there. 

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN  Between 15 and 98 a man is like Iraq -  ruled by a dick.

That's worthy of joke of the week!

:hmmm

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Guest thetintshop

Guest thetintshop

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GAY SAM

Gay Sam goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Sam, I'm not going to beat around the bush, "You have AIDS." Sam is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?" Doc says, "Eat 1 sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, ? box of Grape Nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice." Sam asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?" Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."

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skittles15

skittles15

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exerpts from mitch hedberg

"I have not slept for 10 days because that would be too long"

"I wish I could play little league now I'd kick F**kin ass"

"If you have a friend who is a tight rope walker and you are walkin down the street with him and he trips and falls THAT IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY UNACCEPTABLE"

"My friend said I hear music, I said man thats the only way you can take it in, mmm this music tastes good"

"I was in the park and a saw a kid flyin a kite and he was all happy and shiot, I was like why are you so happy, thats what its supposed to do, now if you were flyin a chair I would be impressessed...you'd have to run like a mother f**ker to get a chair airborne"

"The other day I helped a friend stay put, its a lot easier than helpin him move, I just made sure he didn't start loadin shiot into a truck"

"I got myself an ant farm, them f**kers didn't grow shiot"

"On a stop light green means go and yellow means slow down, thats completely opposite on a banana, green means whoa slow down, yellow means go ahead, and red means WHERE THE F**K DID U GET THAT BANANA"

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