Jump to content

LOTP #76

SuperSetKing

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
TintDude

TintDude

Posted
Posted
On this day we all died 145 years ago. The plague started and caused a total human extinction until prostitution became a sordid act but c*caine made ugly women beautiful. One day, I will rule the the bookstore at tintdude web site. TD rocks my socks in bed, As shay would say i have a small willy and a horrible brother and sister that hate broccoli, but eat cauliflower and snort lots of wasabi powder. That special powder blows your confidence and your brains out your head!Blow runny nose over your gran and over the dog until it finally poops outside.Suddenly, without warning, and not caring, Booms poops himself then kills Balzy in his pool which is inflatable like Slick's girlfriend which Balzy stole.A heartbroken Slick from his friend and no direction like gerriatric s*x. Only Balzy knows how Slick really is with kids but more importantly they stay occupied while under the chain of command but they died doing what they thought was best for their community.In the end it matters not, since the beginning was the same throughout wild animal kingdom, dingos were running wild without pants because they didnt have belts.Then one day, because of boredom, Slick decided to put it together because it fell to the floor landing butter-side up. He flat-out fell head over heels for that butt.We move on because we were tinting s*x shops with punters inside Tinting Eclipse's , which is good news because Balzy can't really get it shrunk because He doesn't have a clue.Everyone laughs at 123's jokes when they're 3 star rated, but they never are. The happy community applauded his attempt at plate juggling. He fell off The lavendar wagon which smells like Grandma's underwear drawer whilst trying to lace his shoes which of course got tied together so he tripped over his feet and bumped his nose on the right knee cap, he showed flexibility and clumsy grace as he landed in a tangle looking dazed and stupid.Suddenly a shadow fell upon a flash drive lying on the front door steps in a ragged week old newspaper, and on it, in faded print was a horse with three legs. Told the column that it was a picture of his beloved childhood in Compton, which began quite well aside from the questionable "tutoring" by a social misfit who's name was so stupid that publishing it would cause mass rioting by like minded idiots, who think they can just waltz up in here ballroom style, strike a pose, flash a smile, show some cleavage, flip their weave, shake some booty, display some thigh, sip some Hennessy, then get away without having to answer to the Pimp. Wrong! Consequently, with one swift Lingering Bitch Slap, Booms got his priorities straight quickly.I'm so sorry you're a fat, green thumbed hooker who went from bad shoes and bootLeg prada handbags to the big time.Moving on to other matters, we find that, without absolute proof, or video documentation, ANYone found with items that constitute "contraband", in access or within easy reach of minor Angolan toddlers and ugly, cross dressing gang members, flashing their overly hairy forearms. Quickly turning the conversation to other matters which sound more like a recipe for disaster, so they considered their options and wised up like an owl.Their next move involved drinking beer followed by a Sambuca or three until hammered [they] became. Once the Sambuca had settled in all the gangsters started to fight with the enormous green and pink, soft and fluffy michelle Obama doll which they found in the dumpster and abused viciously until completely spent. Unbeknown to the gangsters hiding behind the welfare office, smoking like chimneys, there were bugs fling all over the one named dave the dog who wasn't exactly drunk, but He staggered worse than His fellow gang memebers on Acid.Upon seeing the bugs, he punched Himself in the throat, winding Himself so bad that He threw up last night's meal of beans on toast and a bottle of Michelob chased with a bottle of Jack. Wiping the spew from His shoes and evading lorrys, he got on His tricycle, Pedalling like the madman had to catch (the) bus of hard knocks so that He wouldn't have luxury swimming lessons at the strip joint with many various friends.Moving on they found some ladies, (or so-called ladies) working the corner of hollywood and vine. Dave the dog was smitten by the leg. He offered the pound of dog love to the first passerby, but the passerby kicked Him in the knackers. Dave squealed and ran to His gang memebers to tell them about the ladies. With gin and open legs, they Welcomed Him warmly, accepted their payments and moved along inside a railroad where they got caught diddling themselves because the women (with the gin) are lonely bitches. And the gangsters are full of tattoos and piercings. They look like comic books and hoodlums in wigs.The guys decided it was past 4 A.M., so clubbing was not possible, but breakfast was, and they were hungry for action, so away they went to the local IHOP to Have a Rooty Tooty, Fresh and Fruity pancake sandwich, which was prepared with loving care by the hands of Midget Messicans covered in strawberry juice. Because they like to hop in their Impalas and cruise to the liquor store to buy more Gin and Juice and shots of bacardi and coke.Now, drunk as a Billy Goat, they kiss passionately and fondle each other, wilst dreaming about Malcolms sheep. As the day turns into night the freaks come to suck blood and laugh uncontrollably at the funny time of night that they chose to rob a bank of its own home town. They stole tons (of) sperm and eggs, which was strange.Dave suddenly decided to call Slick a backbacon eating hippy from Canada who teases nubes and is rude when folks misspell which is often. Why He likes to lick her undercarriage every night and drink a cold frothy beer, then eats moose. When the beer hits His stomach, He bends over and presents his tramp stamp to the worlds eyes. Unexpectedly, a cold wind blew through His open cornhole causing a whistle of Musical quality. The tune was a classic from the Rolling Stones.The Mary Poppins impersonator sang at a higher pitch, but with less gusto. He was embarrased yet proud to show His out of mind third nipple which was much larger in girth than a firefighters hose. Though he knew noone would mind. Keep on trucking over to waffle house through the corn cobb fields naked and happy. Further up the turnpike, resides foolish, yet somehow attractive, trailer trash inhabitants, with tramp stamps scrawled permanently on their hairless lower backs. Yuck!These days, anything goes according to Regis and his little sidekick Kelly, who though being blonde, really isn't qualified to do anything but rub Regis' left pinky toe with Tabasco sauce.12 days later, in walks this three legged giraffe in a tuxedo with mirror sunglasses and snow boots smoking a cuban and drinking a root beer float with 2 straws. Without warning he swallowed the cigar, dumped his rootbeer and broke his promise to never ur!nate in public. With a grimace and a groan he bowed his head and said "I will never doubt TD again." Then he snickered and dropped dead falling on HoPo.HoPo, hospital bound, couldn't keep from playing "tickle my pickle". The medic, aka Big Bubba, reminds hopo of elmer the elephant, Well hung, greasy and strangely hairless. Even his nads attracted HoPo.Meanwhile a crowd gathered at the local pub, for a pint or two of the latest brew on tap. Batting His eyes the bartender reached over and squeezed a fresh lemon over a tall glass of gin then spit in a Ford Focus and hit the switches. Suddenly, out of the blue the Ford burst through the thick smoke of the now smoldering carcass of the dead 3 legged giraffe.That poor giraffe, had spontaneously bursted all over the white sands of Cancun's resort district. This district is, or was, very dangerous for hookers especially now that Mdog's on the beat, with his fully charged taser and a pocketful of donut crumbs. Of course, with his taser charged he can now sting every phucker unless too many criminals run away and begin to open fire on all the minions.Some minions liked getting shot at by anti aircraft but most were drunks and layabouts so it really bothered Dave when they offered him a job he didn't want because of the way it involved mice and whipped cream.Dave was allergic to almost all dairy products, it made no sense to work with minions who would be lazy and drunk all day.Dave wondered what all the fuss about working was, after all, he is a dog!! And everyone knows dogs chase balls and lick their owners crotch, but they don't work.Dave's gang members went looking for action with hookers and left him to drink alone again.The end.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...